Bittersweet.

I am going to have to take a hiatus from writing for a few weeks... there is just too much going on right now, I can't even process things fast enough to write about them! We have TWO WEEKS left in Nelson. It snuck up on us SO FAST. It feels like all of a sudden the heavens just opened up and rained down a shit-storm of stress upon us. It's good stress though. Mostly.

My brother came to visit from Smithers, and we caught up last night. I can probably count on both hands the number of times we've actually been together, but despite that, there's an easiness between us. I look at him and think, "Yup, we definitely share the same blood." Plus, he looks just like our dad, so looking at him feels very familiar. I wish we had more time to hang out, but maybe he'll come visit us out east. Plus, we have a half-sister somewhere in New Brunswick that we could maybe hunt down.

I'm going through that familiar bittersweet feeling again, that I have every time I leave a place (which I seem to do a lot.) Everything I look at seems so precious in my eyes right now, because I know we're leaving and I need to preserve every little visual detail in my mind so that I can remember. I'm going very inward right now, and it's always harder to write when I feel like this. It's almost like I have to wait until I come out the other side, in order to sort out my thoughts properly and put it into words.

I love Nelson, and I always will. I always leave a part of my heart here, so it feels okay to leave. I know it will always be here for me.
It's hard to say goodbye to friends who feel like family to me. They've all been there with me through everything. Anneke was even there for Angus's birth, and I feel that somehow that that experience really bonded us together. And it's probably why Angus is so smitten with her!

I can smell change in the air. Summer is winding down, and the days are getting shorter already and the air is beginning to lose that muggy, soupy feeling and starting to feel a little sharper and crisper. I love this time of year, as everything seems to calm down, including that goddamn bright ball in the sky that I spend so much time avoiding. (Got to preserve my perfect skin!)
Everything begins to mellow out, as Mother Earth takes a great big sigh of relief knowing she can soon relax. (Or is that me??)

All the stress right now is not so bad, because I can see through it! We're heading towards a better life, for our family. I feel like we're on our way to becoming un-stuck. The East Coast looks like "The Promised Land," to us... a place of job opportunities and financial independence and freedom, a place surrounded by loving family, a place that has a WASHER AND DRYER!!!

Life IS a big adventure. Thinking this way keeps me always excited about life. I'm always curious about what's next, what now, what else can I do, where else could we go? There's no looking back!

I'm looking forward to our first family "vacation." Aaron had to go back to work two days after Angus was born, so this will be a chance for us to just hang out together! I'm looking forward to visiting the West Coast and seeing all my family. And finally, I'm looking forward to getting to our final destination so we can just finally exhale, and then pass the baby off to his grandparents, haha..

Posting will resume once my head re-attaches to my body, probably sometime in about two weeks. I'm hoping that Hornby Island will relax and centre me, and maybe I can get some writing done while Angus spends some time with Gramma C.