You bring home the bacon, I'll fry it up.

Yeah. I'm gonna quit my job.

I've just spent the whole morning neglecting my child so I can get my work done. I'm glued to the chair with my laptop in my lap, trying to keep one eye on the roving little monster. At one point I looked up and he was slithering in behind the DVD player and came out with BLACK SHIT in his mouth. Does anyone know if eating dust bunnies is hazardous? I'm pretty lenient when it comes to him eating diaper boxes and his board books, figuring paper products are just a source of fibre. But I think I draw the line at dust bunnies. I gave him a straw to distract him. I think that's a safer option. (If my father-in-law is reading this, he's probably twitching violently. Never met a more fastidious man! Hi Chris! Don't worry, I was just kidding about letting Angus lick the soap scum off the shower curtain.)

I started working from home because I was rebelling against the whole stereotype of stay-at-home mom. At first I was happy to play house. I was thrilled with our new place when we moved in and all I wanted to do was cook and clean. But, the novelty wore off and soon the reality sank in at just how monotonous and soul-sucking it is to do nothing but wash dishes and clean the floors and cook and change diapers day in and day out. I became so desperate to do something else.
But now I realize that when I was being created, I missed out on the multitasking gene that most women/mothers supposedly have. Since working, the house has gradually slid into a disgusting kind of chaos. I joke about it, but it actually really gets to me. My mother always said, "A cluttered house is a cluttered mind." My mother is full of wisdom. I usually don't listen to her and then she turns out to be right and I wish I had listened to her.

Anyway. My point is, some women can do it all. I have no idea how they do it. Some women manage it all and have MORE THAN ONE kid. Baffles me. I have a friend who has two boys still in diapers and another one on the way! SHE'S CRAZY!! But she does it.
I am not going to pretend that I can do it all. I simply can't. Someone has to keep the house running and someone has to cook and someone has to nurture this little growing person. Plus, when I started working, Angus was napping for a total of five hours during the day and he was still a little lump that couldn't move. Now. NOW. NOW he naps for two hours IF I'M LUCKY, and he is most definitely on the move, AND that whole Velcro baby thing that I mentioned. Now he expects me to engage with him and pay attention to him.
Mothering doesn't come naturally to me. I often forget that I'm supposed to be offering Angus food. (I KNOW, I KNOW.) Sometimes it doesn't occur to me to change his diaper for about six hours.
So as you can see, I really need all my brain power just to not fuck up my kid.