BOOB

Mom I know you don't like my swearing, but I have to swear today. It makes me feel better.

Having a baby means leaving the house with one eyelined and mascara-ed eye, and inside out underwear.

Today Satan got in his truck, drove out of hell, conspired with the Canadian Government in how to ruin my life, then ran me over repeatedly with his burning truck.

It started with a bad mood because I couldn't find one single shirt that wasn't crusty with milk. Now when I breast feed I sit with both boobs flopped out and a rolled up towel underneath them to absorb all the excess milk from my over-eager breasts. It doesn't help that Angus will often stop eating and look up at me lovingly, and while he does that, milk sprays in his face and all over the place. I need a trough to put beneath my breasts.

I apologize for repeatedly talking about my boobs.

Last night I had a teensy tiny puff off a hash cigarette (KNOWINGLY!!). If you know me you know that I NEVER smoke weed or anything associated with weed, which makes me the only person in this town who does not partake in the weed-smoking. I don't know what got into me. Angus was in bed and I was feeling rebellious I guess.
Anyway, I couldn't stop saying the word "boob." It was hilarious to me what a weird word the word "boob" is. Boob spelled backwards spells boob! Then I started rambling about how funny it would be if our crotches were where are faces are and our faces were where are crotches are. We'd have to unzip our pants to talk to each other!
Clearly, becoming a parent does not mean that you grow up.

This morning I think I drank too much coffee because I'm having a hard time typing, and Angus had a hard time taking a nap and staying asleep. I had finally got him to sleep and as he was swinging away, I guess his hand flew up and smacked him in the face and woke him up. What a horrible way to wake up! So I had to swaddle the shit out of him and start all over again.
I would like to try de-caf coffee, to see if it makes Angus less irritable. There's no way I can give up drinking coffee, I love it waaaaaay too much.

All morning I was excitedly awaiting the arrival of the mail man, because today he was supposed to bring me MONEY! It's GST day! We're saved!!!
When I did my taxes, the lady who did them for me at H&R block told me that I would recieve all the GST from the last three years (the years that I skipped the country and didn't do my taxes or pay my student loans), so I have eagerly been awaiting this bonus money.

Well instead of getting a cheque, I recieved a letter that said this:

"We are unable to determine the amount of the GST/HST credit to which you may be entitled because we do not have all the necessary information. If you supply us all the following information, we will process it and inform you of the result:
-your world income, with the amount converted to Canadian dollars, for the period in 2008 before you entered Canada."

WHAT. THE. FUCK. Thankyou, Canadian government. I guess for dinner we will be having weiner-water soup.

The reason I went to H&R block was because I do not understand paperwork at all, so I was happy to PAY SOMEONE to do it all FOR ME. I expect they should have known this!

I'm also having a stand-off with the housework today. I am saying, "Fuck you dishes, do yourself." I am getting really angry at the mess, which is really stupid, because I understand that I made the mess, and it is my job to clean it up, but I'm still mad at it. I feel like I am trying to make a point, but I'm not sure what the point is, because all I'm doing is making myself frustrated.

I'm just so frustrated. I know Aaron and I haven't always been so good with money, but WE ARE REALLY TRYING!!! Honestly! You have never met such a stingy shopper as me. (I'm born year of the rat, so it makes sense.) We always pay our rent and our bills and Angus's butt is always diapered. Our one vice is whenever one of us gets paid, we order food or go out for food, as a treat to ourselves. But really, what's wrong with that?
Every time we think we're making progress, we get knocked down again. Lately we have been tricked and fucked around by the following:

Canadian government
H&R block
Instaloans
Bank of Montreal
Royal Bank
Our dumb-ass landlord

I'm not going to bother with details, but they should know that if I had my own Mafia, there would be a price on their heads. (I'm not serious, please don't report me.)