My dentist visit.

I learned a few things about dentists yesterday.

1. I should have been a dentist. At nearly $2000 for a root canal, I think it would be safe to say they make OKAY money.

2. I DO NOT LIKE GOING TO THE DENTIST. I was scared for my life. Yes, I gave birth to a ten pound baby, but I would rather do that again than have sharp instruments in my mouth, scraping and poking and gouging. I also couldn't stop gagging, and I panicked every time water pooled in my mouth, and then panicked when the water-sucker almost sucked out my brain.
So I guess this means I'll never be a dentist.

3. I have "macroglossia" which means "abnormally large tongue," and "microdontia" which means "abnormally small teeth." Yes, I am a freak.

4. Dentistry has one of the highest suicide rates of any profession. (I already knew that before yesterday, but I figured I'd mention it.) I wonder why this is. Probably something to do with having your face inside people's decaying mouths. I'd want to kill myself probably.

I chose this particular dentist because of the name: "Gentle Dentistry." You'd go too, right? That's how they trick you.

THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS GENTLE DENTISTRY.

This particular dentist was young and female, fit and blond and attractive, and I liked her quite a lot. I was expecting a gruff, crusty old man. I guess things have changed in the fifteen or twenty years I've been avoiding dentists.

Also, there was a poster of Johnny Depp on the ceiling. This was definitely not a man dentist.
Johnny grinned at me all Pirate-y the whole time I was undergoing my torture, but it was more creepy than calming. I think they should have put up a poster of bunnies and lambs and fluffy clouds and rainbows. I personally would have felt much more calm looking at that than looking at Johnny's eye-lined pirate face sneering down at me.

The hygeinist made a comment, a comment I have just been WAITING for someone to say, so I can talk about how ignorant people are to new mothers. She said, "You look great for just having a baby."
But instead of getting offended like I'd hoped, I actually was flattered. I DO look DAMN good for having a baby.

All I had done yesterday were some X-rays and my teeth were cleaned, but I thought I was going to pass out. I can't believe I actually have to go back there. And have things done that are going to be MUCH MUCH WORSE.